Recycling’s weak link

I did say these posts wouldn’t be regular.

I want to talk about laziness and I have a beautiful anecdote from just the other day to share with you, the anonymous reader.

I live in Bristol. In Bristol there is a council. This council orders that trucks full of men, and pretty much never women, drive around and collect recycling once a week.

Recycling is good, and that’s not even an opinion. That’s an actual fact that you can go and look up. But if you actually have a life then take my word for it, recycling is good. If I were one of the men in the smelly bin trucks I would probably be trying to promote recycling, I would want people to do it! I’d be the guy hanging off the side of the truck with one of those tube things that American’s always seem to have use of in films, the thing that makes your voice really loud. You know the thing, I’d be that guy.  I want people to be involved in whatever I’m doing. This, however, is something I do not get the impression is happening.

By this I don’t, necessarily, mean that I want to see people shouting from vehicles, informing us of what they are doing. What I mean is I don’t think the people who deal in recycling really care about recycling.

The other day it was our recycling day. The smelly bin truck was outside my house, actually blocking my car in which was a bit annoying as I was going out, but they were saving the planet, so I wasn’t too bothered that my personal pollution machine had to wait a minute to splutter away from the kerb. I walk down my front path and see that everyone else recycling had been collected… apart from my boxes.

I have a feeling I know why they weren’t collected and if it is that reason, which I’m fairly sure it is, I have lost my faith in mankind.

This is what my boxes looked like.


Now I have a sneaking suspicion that, because the black box is inside the green box, the Collection Official, or whatever the politically correct name for a binman is these days, felt that he didn’t have to remove my recycling from inside.

The key word there, for me, is ‘have’. I suppose in some stupid, bureaucratic, ribbon cutting , politician smiling, hand shaking, ‘don’t loose the binman vote’ sort of world that there is a tiny, insignificant line in some ridiculous piece of council wording that says that the bins must be properly organised from A-Z, in order of smallest to largest and then colour coded in a regimented fashion, for the Collection Official to actually have to do his job.

It would appear that unless all these reasonable, and in no way ludicrous, demands are met that the bins can remain untouched.

But is that really the world we live in now? I mean, really? Are people actually so lazy that they can’t just do their job? By ‘their job’ I don’t mean the absolute minimum that they are required to do, but just do their job. If you have been told to collect recycling boxes… just collect the fucking recycling boxes. Is it really so hard to lift a box, containing and empty milk bottle and an empty jalepeno jar, out of another box and get rid of the contents?

When I was working as a Dominos Pizza ‘Delivery Expert’, as we were patronisingly titled, I delivered pizzas. What I mean by that is, I was given an address and I was given some pizzas.  I then drove to the address and gave them to the customer. Now, sometimes it wasn’t always possible to drive to an address. This could have been down to road closures, the location of a house on an estate, or anything. In that instance what I always did was park and then, magically, I used my legs and walked to the house. I didn’t care if it was raining, or if it was cold, I was just doing my job.

Here’s is what I imagine my binman would have thought in that scenario…

“Oh god, I can’t drive so my bonnet is literally touching the customers letter box? That’s it, I’m taking this 16″ Texas BBQ pizza with stuffed crust and a side of Coleslaw back to the shop. I have rights!”

That’s right you lazy, good for nothing, leech you do have rights. You have the right to employment, I believe that to be a basic human right. There are many people out there who are struggling to find work, struggling to put a decent meal on the table for their children, struggling to pay the heating bill during the cold winter and all this time you are lucky enough to have been given a job.

So stop being so lazy you useless, planet ruining, individual and collect my recycling boxes!